hahaha

2011-11-02T03:05:00.002+08:00

today while reading everyone's fb wall posts, i came across one from my ex-colleague in my internship company. from that wall post, i found out that the very kind indian receptionist has left us.

after that i couldn't stop crying for quite a while. the other day i still thought of him, while drinking coffee, and what he said about strong coffee being bad for the body because it "whips" your body awake when it might not be ready to be. in fact, i think of his comment almost every time i drink coffee.

he was always so kind and friendly and SO WARM. from the first time i met him when he greeted me so cheerily, to how he was one of the first few pple in the company who rmbs my name the first few days and calls me that (oh well, not alot of pple bother to haha), and then rmbed my extension (! i marvelled at how he could rmb everyone's extension in the office. literally.)to how on a few occasions i sat at his receptionist table (and stupidly picked up the phone while the uncle was away in pantry, accidentally told some china man our ceo was not in when he was, LOL but that's another story) and we would have chats where he shares stuff about his life with me... to the last day i was there with chokwan and he said he would invite us to celebrate deepavali at his house like how he invites the other company pple...

he even shared with me his apples once! and told me they are gd for me.

and now he's gone...

i really hope he went peacefully, happily, and now he's in a better place. for he is one of the nicest and sincere and wonderful and genuinely warm people i can ever meet. :'( rip

2011-04-29T21:31:00.001+08:00

my social awkwardness really makes me feel so suffocated around pple...

2011-02-14T14:20:00.000+08:00

你現在想著誰　有沒有和我相同的感覺
固執等著誰　卻驚覺已無法倒退

listening to him instead of doing fyp hahaha

2010-12-15T02:58:00.001+08:00

finally it has been sufficiently long enough to rewatch my favourite show again.
feeling the happiest in months! :) :)

2010-12-09T13:06:00.001+08:00

:( this just feels too sad

2010-11-29T17:00:00.004+08:00

stupidest thing i have done for the year?

not mark my grp down for peer evaluation, coz i thought no pt marking them down since my mark wont increase. but now... then i realise putting them down is the best way to assure higher grade for myself.

rar. now emotionally unbalanced

2010-11-26T15:29:00.002+08:00

with about 2.5 days to the submission of the report, my grp members can tell me my entire business model written is wrong. they didnt even tell me explicitly nor correct my thoughts earlier and now wat, im supposed to change the whole thing in 2.5 days?

just got screwed upside down by this stupid group. should have switched out of it in the first seminar. i just even explain how qi gek i am. but just thanks a lot for ur group allocation dennis

2010-11-24T13:33:00.002+08:00

it's quite a shitty feeling to know that you're 21 and still quite an useless person... in terms of work competency, talents, and can't even manage human relations...

im not quite sure what to do...?
i really can't think of what worth there is in me

2010-11-13T14:01:00.001+08:00

cant help sighing... and sighing haizzzzzzzz

december come faster leh

2010-11-11T12:15:00.003+08:00

wat a waste of time.

got up at 8.10 to go to school at 10am for a meeting, which lasted like 1 hr 10 mins. lol first my singaporean group mate smsed me at 9.40 saying "sorry i cant come for meeting coz i have outside things to settle"
my first thought is.... uh triad matters? ha ha ha
my second thought is, thanks very much, you left me with the others when everything's not settled

but anyway i went to the meeting with dread because i know i have difficulty in talking to them when they all come together.

when i reached there are 2 grpmates already there (my grp has 6 pple), so i went to buy breakfast. by then it was about 10.20, and still no sight of the other 2. okay..................

so we tried to discuss the qn. i tried to bring up a pt for their area for discussion... and they just stared at me blankly LOL. okay. communication problem as usual? so i illustrated with example numbers, to which my grp mate said okay, let's show them this eg and tell them we have difficulty finding true figures to substantiate.

uhhhhhhhhhhhh 0.0 pls. sure get shot down by the prof. but i didnt really care (since probably have to go home to refine everything) so i just said alright *:)*

at this pt in time another grp mate came, who looked like he just woke up... from a hangover or something. and we stoned for another 15 mins, only to find out that my grp mates were practising their scripts to see how long it will take (which i didnt know coz they discussed in a foreign language).

seeing no pt to the meeting, somebody suggested we go home to research more. so i said we should at least decide on the presentation flow. my grpmate feels that we should just answer it question by question. we are given 3 qns but obviously we are supposed to present the relevant whole picture like a normal business presentation right? no. my grpmate feels that we should just present like how the qns are given, so that it's easier to split the presentation work and dont have to put in more effort to rearrange the stuff.

i guess i must have looked quite pissed or quite a tyrant coz i finally managed to convince them against them, with me having to do the additional parts of coz, coz i realise it is really not much use to get them to do it.

so the grp meeting took 1hr 10 mins in total, which im glad of. which i cannot wait to get out of there to gossip with other pple coz it was such a waste of time.

ha ha ha in the middle some annoying guy from the critique team came over to kpo which i seriously cant be bothered to talk or bother with him, so i just said hi *:)* a half-hearted mian qiang smile and continued to stare at my screen hahahahaha

it's not that i dislike my grpmates or watever, but i cant help but resent them for coming into my grp. coz this is such a tough course and we are graded upon the singaporean standard, and yet i have to iron out communication problems and the foreigners have a diff way of doing things (for eg, everything is "very good" and "perfect" when it looks like a mess) and make the resultant substandard ppt into a singaporean standard ppt. either way, it's just not fair to us.

in the end have to do almost everything lo. research + slides + present. wonderful.

2010-11-10T19:57:00.000+08:00

so funny. got 32/45 in the end for my quiz!
LOL seriously wonder where my marks came from.

2010-10-23T17:40:00.001+08:00

i wish pple talk to me to listen to me, not just to listen to them.

2010-10-06T23:38:00.002+08:00

i cant decide to be disappointed or indifferent.

my grpmate just knew i take the same elect lecture as her after our usual project meeting on weds, coz i always just pon after meeting every week lol

2010-10-01T22:51:00.003+08:00

met up with prof and she didnt shoot us too much, all thanks to hx while lcy and i didnt talk much (actually i didnt even say anything LOL)

feasted for lunch, watched movie which i lost interest halfway (wall street: money never sleeps. hahaha can see why i guess) and ate popcorn, chit chat with friends over future jobs, feasted with sis for dinner, and cab home.

enjoyable and happy friday!

2010-09-16T13:35:00.003+08:00

no matter how many times i listen to 小情歌, i still feel touched by the lyrics.

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚
就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

i think somewhat things have changed, but i pray for the best.

2010-09-15T12:43:00.001+08:00

constantly in contradiction... ...

2010-08-13T00:02:00.001+08:00

i am lonelier than i would ever admit.
haiz

2010-04-21T19:44:00.002+08:00

happened to be here, and a question came to my mind: is it better to be emo or emotionless?
right now im more of emotionless, because i have learnt not to care about many things. but the nonchalence is really weird o.o

2009-08-05T03:26:00.003+08:00

back from new york!
just switched on my phone and....zero smses? haha...................

didnt manage to buy stuff for anyone except food. shall do an update of the whole trip so that i will be reminded of the really busy, interesting and amazing city we have visited!

2009-06-06T01:53:00.004+08:00

as my brother puts it, "What a disaster!! hahaha"

This is what happened. coz we have this quite big table in my room, which can accommodate 2 pple. on the right half of it there is a keyboard drawer, the other half there's a this normal drawer. so being the lazy bums we are, we naturall will just conveniently throw everything we dont need into the drawer (and also on the table but that's another thing)

just now i was using my laptop on the left half of the table, and i thought i kept hearing something drop onto the floor near me. so i asked my bro

"eh got something drop?"

bro: "no la nothing" *goes back to comp*

hahaa i also thought it's nothing la. i mean, things often drop around at my house and nobody usually bothers. but after it happened 3 times, i thought it's quite weird so i checked the floor... and the drawer.

wth the bottom of the drawer, the back half of it is like detached from the drawer already!!! so things kept dropping out through the gap at the end

so basically we had to pull things out of the detached end, and things kept sliding down and falling onto the floor. tons of dust!!!!! terrible. but we found $1.50, a lot of hongbao packets (with no money), old post cards, harry potter uno, huanzhu gege 20 cents sticker cards (which i rmbed evadne and i used to tonk coins to get in pri school hahaha)and TONS of rotting stationary, forgotten noteboooks, paper, rotting accessories, overdue stuff.

and 2 of felicia's china drama dvds which i havent returned hahahaha

lol we threw bascially everything into 2 ntuc bags. then my bro kicked them under the bed and we resumed using our computers.

yep end of story. hahaa my brother concluded ikea's things suck. im more objective; i reckon we really put too many things into our drawer LOL

2009-06-04T23:24:00.004+08:00

haven't written an entry for very long... until recently eunice wanted to start her own blog and enlisted my help to help her with a web layout. hahaha can check it out when its done, but now somehow there's something wrong with the codes and blogger wont accept it.

*edit*
hmmmmmm i just realise u can already see it here hahaha coz i tested her layout on my blogger, and i havent done one for myself and of coz im too lazy to switch back to my old one.
*edit end*

i think i wrote somewhere before, i would still need an audience and know somebody's reading before i can write an entry. it feels ultra lonely i think, if u know nobody's reading.

hahaa i have been nuaing for 1 month plus already.whenever pple ask me what i have been doing for the past 1month.... i feel so embarrassed to answer. i have been leading a 宅女life.

let's see: i have finished watching
bloody monday
kamen rider den-o
rewatching full metal alchemist
some random eps of animes here and there (i tink add up more got more than 40 eps)

hmmm i keep feeling i missed quite a few shows out coz i tink i watched ALOT more than that just that i cant rmb.

everyday i will wake up (at 12 plus 1) despite all the noise in the morning and the sun shining onto my butt (u know the chinese phrase they always use in primary sch)... if there's lunch i will eat it. if no i will just turn on the comp and start the randomly-clicking-around exercise.

then i will make lipton tea and snacks, and go back to my comp. then if dinner is still acceptable (hmmm mum's cooking..... haha) i will eat it. if not i will also eat it.

then my sister will come back, usually with tons of snacks, which i will eat also, and comment im very fat but still munching. LOL. continues until 3am. end of day!

very good lifestyle.....

haha then i also thought abt what i wanna do in life - still no conclusion.
and i chose marketing as my major. im dreading the new semester~~~~!!!!!!!!!! <---expressing my frustration and angst abt school

haha pple keep telling me just open up and know more pple and have fun etc. i really get what u mean, but i just cant do it. i cant be myself leh... have tried quite hard but its not working. i still cant shake off the awkward feeling i feel? :( actually im quite easy-going (and easy to push around) and pretty lame sometimes, just that sadly very very few pple have seen that part of me. how saddddddd

and what else have i done...... EAT A LOT. goodness... im fatter by 1 round at least, and still gobbling up everything i can see hahaha.

eh why is this post the same as those 1/2 year ago hahaha this is bad.

ok la i shall type another entry when i have something NEW to say

2009-01-04T19:25:00.002+08:00

happy new year! to myself... ahaha

on 31 dec we had steamboat. i insisted on it hahaa

i felt quite touched by my mum. coz i was digging out the old steamboat in our house and to my horror (why am i even surprised judging by how bochap all of us are) the steamboat is basically usable coz the bottom of the pot is scraped very badly. im sure other pple would be more particular about that coz it looked like it could cause food poisioning since the black stuff of the pot might actually come off during cooking.

anyway my mum was saying should she just go buy a new steamboat.
i was like "oh dont bother, dont need to specially go buy a new one just for this"

but anyway she specially went out to buy one for me...so i was quite touched. and she helped me buy prawns and minced meat, and even marinated the minced meat for me so that we could make meatballs with it (since i dunno ANYTHING about cooking)

i know they really really let me have my way all the time.

yep anyway felicia and i went to buy food at ntuc, was totally fun (to me). bought eggs, chicken stock, mushroom, potato, tomato, meatballs, fishballs, chicken wings, nuggets, BEN AND JERRY...cant remember others haha but it was quite a lot of food.

anyway after the whole dinner we just binged on ben and jerry's and nua-ed on the sofa watching channel 5 countdown. wow it has actually improved and less boring than usual but of coz they can only lip-sync. haha.

my tv blew up btw so we are getting a new tv. dunno to be happy or not, but the tv is going to be bigger and located in a new place, and we are finally finally getting a recorder. just when im not interested in watching real tv anymore.

btw i finished watching gossip girl in around 3 days. really enjoyed the show and my fav character is hahahahahha chuck! apart from the fact that he doesnt look very nice (like a psycho + shark) but i really like his character. and my second fav character is blair, so hahah i love the pairing. it's so cute! and awwww at the end of season 2 :'( poor blair.

i really like rufus + lily too :)

can't believe we are going to start classes tmr. depressed depressed depressed.

2008-12-23T13:07:00.002+08:00

the christmas party at felicia's house was SO AMUSING lol. we tried cooking nuggets but they turned out to be poisonous hahaha

wat happened was we wanted to fry nuggets. after searching up and down for a normal frying pan, we couldnt find one, so we used a wok!

so we heated up the oil, fried the nuggets while flipping them with the help of chopsticks and a stirrer thingy (those u used to flip eggs)

after a while, there was some burnt stuff in the oil. okay nvm.

Then felicia suddenly said

"eh waibin. the ends of the chopsticks look weird!!" i looked, and to my shock, oh no yeah it turned white while the rest is like pearly white. The chopsticks were plastic and they melted in the pan!

hahaha ok. so we stopped using the chopsticks and continued frying since after all its only a little part of the chopsticks.

after a while...we realised theres more and more burnt stuff in the oil so felicia's dad was busy fishing them out with the stirrer. and then, to my horror, the (black) stirrer was dripping black stuff!

LOL the stirrer also melted in the oil because you are not supposed to put it under high heat hahaha

so in the end our first attempt to cook nuggets was a very amusing experience hahaa

2008-11-28T04:00:00.003+08:00

havent written anything in a long time... funnily enough i tink i do write for pple after all. so if there's no one who wants to read this i dont feel like posting. haha

nothing much happened, just that exams were such a joke. LOL! feel super amused whenever i think of it. my bo-chapness has just increased by leaps and bounds!!!

let's see...ob was the first exam and i was more serious. read tb twice.

one day right after ob was systems, which i didnt bother studying much. was pia-ing hunter x hunter (really love that anime!) and slacking happily at home...turns out that it's really a crapping exam in the end (and crappy as well just like the module hahaha. but shaligram the lecturer is such a kind person)

after systems i was celebrating again. 1 week before marketing!
pia-ed hunter x hunter to a very scary extent. those kind where i go to sleep at 4am watching it, and loading the show the moment i woke up. super tiring but hahaha finished the series in record breaking time man. looks like my determination is there after all, but just for some stuff la haha

marketing i didnt bother to finish reading the textbook.
we bought eunice a cake for her bday...lets just say if im the one who planned the bday surprise (or anything at all for that matter) it wouldnt work out. hahahah total flunk...

plan: meet eunice for dinner to make sure shes free, then go back to her room for the surprise.
flunked coz: she went to meet someone else after dinner -.-

plan2: wait for her to come back from studying. smsed her, she said coming back at 11 plus so i went over at 11pm
flunked coz: she didnt want to come back early coz she hasnt finished studying. waited more than 1 hr for her

plan3: have yj and zt come over when we know shes coming back.
flunked coz: they took so long! by the time they came they saw eunice downstairs. so they ran up by another staircase. they frantically knocked on the door but we thought it was eunice! so we didnt open. so they had to run and hide (HAHAHA)

plan4: light the candles so that she can see it when shes back
flunked coz: she saw the cake and candlelight through the corridor window.

haha but was so amusing throughout.marketing was well...i just wrote crap and tried to erm, link stuff to the textbook. (which i didnt even finish reading anyway, cant be bothered)

stats was so disgusting...and i even forgot to bring one of my books into the exam, and i lost those notes i wrote for the quiz. hahahaa hope can pass la

exams are so crappy and im getting so lazy nowadays. fats all came back coz i lazed about on the sofa too much i guess. and also snacks binging has been scary scary scary (average of 1 big pack of ruffles size chips per day!!!! omg)

oh ya...last thing was i ponned marketing class outing. seriously i dunno anyone there, and yea the whole history is repeating and stuff but i just dunno anyone!! how to go! but actually i already went out, then my friend told me she thought i wasnt going so she wasnt going... so i went tampines to walk around and ate lunch and nua-ed while reading twilight.

haha im getting more independent...

last thing; i actually got the same timetable as felicia next sem!!! o.o cant believe it. i hope we dont kill each other hahahahah and secretly i hope im not in the same class as my mkting class pple............ but anyway im planning to change some of my classes because aiyo, have wed free when u are staying in hall sucks. and the suckiest thing is that i end at 6.30 on friday. HOW CAN!!!! that means my weekend is only 2 days (oh well this sem has been 3 days).

no more slacking next sem :'( :'(
this sem has been ultimate slackness with the ponning of mkting, stats, systems every week hahahaha

last last last thing, my biological clock is screwed up. i sleep at 4am and wake up at 1pm now. haha

2008-10-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

i am a lonely bean.
help.

2008-08-29T14:50:00.002+08:00

trying out the hp mini laptop that starhub gave us for subscribing to their wireless. let's just say that free things arent good.
the touchpad is very bad! as for the keyboard, the keys are slightly rectangularish(like weird), and it's really hard to type on coz you tend to miss keys. and it heats up super duper fast. and it's not really light for a mini laptop.

haha it sucks.

then just now i called starhub to ask how to connect to the internet. they kept me on hold for abt 10 min, only to have a girl picking up and telling me she is not from the wireless team -.- said they will call me ltr... and she insisted i need a modem to connect to the wireless, like huh. anyway smart bean managed to fix it before they called me. they are super inefficient, esp the wireless team!

but we wont ever change subscribers since we are just too lazy to. hahaha.

2008-08-28T23:51:00.003+08:00

now im really 名副其实 wobbly bean.
on ice i mean haha

went for my first ice skating session on wed. the moment i stepped onto the ice i was like holding on to the railings for dear life. and then after that i was holding onto the senior for dear life. haha i was so scared lo!

it's like rollerblading class all over again. i just have a very poor sense of balance! but the seniors were really nice and taking care that i dont fall backwards, which i did anyway. oh but when i did they will reassure me im not the one who fell the most times on the first try haha. btw i am quite clumsy! even when two people are holding me, 1 left 1 right, i can still fall in between them.

like omg. haha
and anyway after 3 hours i still cant skate properly. hahaha. just kept wobbling on the ice and falling down.
quite diu lian, esp i always go ahhhhhh super loudly before i fall.
natural instinct!

but so far i quite like my cca. pple are nice just that hmm usual problem la, i cannot talk normally to them. but they are really nice i think :D

this week is a good week so far
skipped stats lecture and slept the afternoon away in eunice's room, finished marketing presentation (my friend says she can see my finger shaking when i was pressing next on the keyboard) though some pple were sleeping, managed to shit after __ days of constipation.
tuition on sat and sun... such a pain!

2008-08-24T12:12:00.003+08:00

haha i kept thinking i have 300 free outgoing min... turns out that it's 100 free min plus 200 free outgoing to singtel users.

if my mum knows i called out close to 400 outgoing min she is going to kill me! i shall pretend singtel made a mistake and pay some on my own this month...

haha

2008-08-17T15:09:00.003+08:00

need to go back hostel soon.

let's see...last week
i bought my laptop on the first day of IT fair. queued for a crazy 6 hours!
met my ob group
got my marketing group and they both seem quite ok so i am glad :)
stayed over at eunice's and evadne's room most of the week... acutely aware of how different i am from typical uni students though haha
probably developed some muscles in my legs from climbing the stairs everyday and lugging stuff all around. very tiring lo
felicia's bday was ytd, so we had dinner and chatted together. self-reminder: stay away from cafe cartel's pork ribs, it's scary.
just had tuition... i seriously cant teach science!
my tutee amuses me. he was trying to burn stuff using a magnifying glass, it's quite cool to see the paper smoke. haha

the week has been ok, but feel a bit sad i have to go back again so soon!
things at home feels a little different; quieter. going to miss slacking at home and everyone.

wondering if i should buy a pretty sticker to paste on my rectangular and black laptop. hmm.

2008-08-07T02:02:00.003+08:00

im back from hostel!
really happy. i can stop worrying about not belonging for now.

waibin: is there anyone not enthu in the school? is there like anyone normal?
felicia: ya. they are the normal ones.

hahahaha

i probably belong to the alien species in uni...
but actually the alien also feels very sian of feeling like an alien...

btw i managed to get this mechanical engineering elective (ha. ha. ha.) which had like abt 95 vacancies left when i added it into my timetable. the elective probably sucks like crazy since most (if not all) electives have 0 vacancies o.o

anyway the vacancies were all gone by night time! guess im not the only desperate one around...
sigh 啼笑皆非。。。

shall continue to binge on chips, gain back my 1.5kg weight loss, and be the fattest person on campus maybe.

yeah... i am feeling quite depressed right now :|

2008-08-04T23:25:00.003+08:00

today was orientation... wasnt very bad but not good at all...

just awkwardly hanging around the others and feeling all out of place. haha just hate mixing, really.

frequently asked qns:
hi.
oh do u live in halls?
did u go hall camps? (no...)
did u go faculty camp? (no... ...)
how come?? (hmmm coz i was too lazy and didnt feel like going...)

awkward silence.
i cant hold conversations :S
and ya i didnt go for a single thing... then?
haha ok im really feeling sian now. and really insecure and scared and awful now about the whole uni thing. plus i havent done a zillion things... havent gotten my ez-link card...

crap actually i havent even applied for the card when others are collecting it already. hahaha like gosh.

then i dont know anything about my courses and wat i need to do... like electives, i dunno ANYTHING About them. all those prescribed and something (cant remember wat it is again) and blah, i dunno how the whole thing works. i cant even remember wat my core codes are which and which lo.

then at night in the hostel i have absolutely nothing to do... felicia has got a laptop but she also needs to use it too. :( :(

tons of stuff on my mind... sigh
just hope things get better.

and my mum surprised me by calling to ask how am i. really shocked lo. i mean for all the camps i have been to she doesnt ever call... makes me miss home a lot hahaa

going back home for a short stay on wednesday! yipee. love my pig sty at home! btw my side of the room is already starting to look like a sty. i dont even make my bed in the morning since i dont see the need to hahahahaa

2 lectures straight tmr. nitez (talking to myself actually)

2008-07-28T22:55:00.002+08:00

went to clean our hostel room. we moved the beds and now the arrangement is much better!

watched dark knight. i had problems understanding wat they were saying gosh!! hahaha didnt even know what the uncle wearing specs was called until the credits coz i didnt catch the names.
anyway didnt really get the first part but it was quite good.

i hope my lecturers dont have ang-mohs. i cant understand them!! haha pathetic

ate tons of stuff... fried chicken chop, the super ultimate kung-fu milk tea which i really like despite its amusing name, then dinner...

havent matriculated. i logined a zillion times trying to guess my username. and then tried hunting the house down for my application no. so that i can get my username. finally found my username and then couldnt login coz the site closes at 10pm.

really annoying!!!
i really hope i get a good timetable; 3 day week pls!!! if i get a 5-day week i think i will whine and complain the house down. haha

nitez. headache and feeling like i wanna vomit.

2008-07-28T00:44:00.002+08:00

this week...

my mum had her birthday. cake was yummmm!

rebonded my hair. sometimes it looks nice, most of the time it looks like a wig...

my hostel room is pretty good :)

went feasting today! food wasn't really super nice but seafood was very fresh.

love my home, will miss it terribly.

2008-07-22T10:20:00.001+08:00

comp reformatted again. sian i lost some photoshop layouts and textures and now i forgot how i did them already. time wasted. sigh

2008-07-19T15:00:00.003+08:00

haha u know when i get disappointed too many times, i just learn not to care about things so that the disappointment doesnt hurt.
i dont want to care about you anymore... but i don't think you care too, so it doesn't matter right? ha... 苦笑。

my indifference scares me sometimes. haha

2008-07-18T15:19:00.003+08:00

aiyo i can go die already. when i came home just now my brother told me his comp blacked out after a *boom* sound... hahaha like my goodness! and my own stupid hp comp died AGAIN! can u believe it. even i can't believe how lousy it is...

im so going to die of boredom at home till my comp(s) is fixed!
just spent another 50 bucks OH NO. STOP SPENDING!

2008-07-18T00:54:00.004+08:00

i went suntec to get my contacts made coz my sis says the service is gd.

haha the lady was quite nice. she was helping me put on the contacts, but i cant stop blinking so my eye was like tearing. but it feels miraculous... like i can hardly feel that it's there but the vision is so clear!!!

hahaha suaku is like that one...

so i tried taking it out... i find it really difficult.
and it was so dumb. when i was taking the trial lens out of my eye, i didnt pinch it out properly. i blinked and the lens dropped out and we couldn't find it! hahaa so i couldn't practise wearing it. but anyway gotta go back next week to get the rest of my contact lenses.

super ex... i spent another 200+++ today, I CAN'T SPEND ANYMORE MONEY OR ELSE THE FIVE MONTHS OF SAVINGS FROM WORK WOULD BE ALL GONE!!

i think im really a very bad spender, i will scrimp on the smallest things (like mrt fares) and then suddenly buy and spend all at one go...and still feel very pleased with myself hahaha

溏心风暴 on channel 55 is like super exciting now! really feel like slapping the woman inside coz she is so evil!!! but really like the show, it's super 精彩!

uni starting soon... i havent done enough fun things!

2008-07-13T00:24:00.005+08:00

feeling SO tired...

finished rereading HP's last book last night. i dunno why but i found it to be so much nicer than the first time i read it! just had very strong emotions reading certain parts of the book.

then i had insomnia till 2 plus. sian i havent been able to fall asleep at night for a while and it leaves me feeling really groggy and horrible in the morning.

btw i woke up at 6am today (6! omg. i havent woken up at 6 since vj days) to go for a morning hike at henderson waves. thinking back, i must have been crazy and just too desperate to go out o.o coz waibin and hikes and physical exercise...just dont connect hahaha

yeah anyway met yijuan and eunice, who was unwillingly dragged along by the two of us, and some aunties at vital. actually the hike was pretty ok la. climbed up a lot of steps and then through some nature reserve thing...which i forgot what is it hahaha. anyway henderson waves is like this long bridge across some mountainous area and flats and then from the bridge u can see a lot of scenery. clouds today were pretty nice, they look picturesque.

eh im seriously a lousy photograher...haha

other than that there were lots of trees and insects :S (and sun, i got sunburnt)

then after the visit at the waves bridge,we thought we can happily go down and have an early lunch (it was around 10 something) the aunties proceeded on to some other walks which dragged till 1 plus! went past some flower place (some kind of garden/flower hub) and then up and along some other trail again. the flower hub is really cool, i like flowers a lot but then not when there are dozens of centipedes/millipedes (cant tell the two apart) around haha

this is the start of the flower trail. the flowers are so cute they look fake. too sian to take more photos with my phone

not sure where we went exactly, but it was so tiring and im super glad when we finally came down and saw main roads and public buses...

went marche at vivo. rosti at marche was not as nice as i remembered...but anyway ice cream creme was yumyum!

played ddr which i played half-heartedly coz i was so tired, and gunbound at some lan shop.
cant be bothered to type anymore... im so worn out and my leg muscles are so painful and so is my neck which stiffened up totally while playing at the comp just now. haha

2008-07-10T15:01:00.004+08:00

yay felicia told me there's a hana yori dango movie!!!
haha hana yori dango is definitely my favourite drama/anime/storyline of all time! happy~~~

complaints by a 宅女...
stupid tudou is not working, coz all the videos have been replaced by some jap woman cooking. but the china pple's comments are SO FUNNY hahaha.
but rarrr i cant watch xing guang bang!

2008-07-06T22:48:00.002+08:00

im going to die of boredom soon man...

but im so happy coz the hp which i want to buy is now at zero dollars!
long story - 2 weeks ago there was an offer on w910i, it was 168. and then i was so lazy i cant be bothered to go down to tampines to get the hp. and then 1 week ago when i finally moved my bum the offer was gone! was 238 and i was SO angry and bad-mood-ed on everyone.

and now it's at zero dollars hahaha so laziness and bo-chapness isn't so bad after all!

gave up on playing some stupid online game, coz it's so lag and makes me go backwards all the time -.- imagine 2 steps forward 1 step back. it's super annoying that despite having nothing to do i can't bring myself to play it...

haha ntu rejected my photo for the student card. finally realised it's coz my specs were blocking my eyes. so... i edited my specs off! proud of myself hahaha

im so going to die of boredom soon! screams.
shit school's starting and i havent bought enough things AND im really worried.

2008-06-29T00:56:00.002+08:00

...
没有朋友。
无所事事。
失望。。。

sorry, im very irresponsible, i dont want to face my problems.

2008-06-26T22:14:00.003+08:00

went to have lunch with siti and yijuan at tanjong pagar today. we ate at soup spoon. siti hardly drank her soup, yijuan couldnt finish her ice tea and salad. i was the big glutton coz i finished everything; soup, sandwich, ice tea hahaha but i like the beef goulash yummm

and then went to visit mnd. hahaa i just sat in a chair and chit-chatted the whole time there. gobbled up 3 cream puffs which noor bought. so slack and relaxed over there but im still feeling sleepy by 5pm. like my goodness haha.

yijuan says she misses me coz of my big appetite hahaha. i think my stomach can really contain more stuff now, it's quite scary

the aunties who saw me all weirdly had similar conversations with me

auntie: oh u came back? to work?
no la i came back to visit
auntie: haha when is your school starting? july?
nope in august
auntie: oh! then why dont want to work?
im too lazy and tired, so want to rest at home
auntie: wahhhhh aiyo rest/sleep so long at home ah hahahahahha
ha ha ha ha

dinner was curry chicken with eunice, and then chit chat at the library. just flipped through random magazines and lazed around (me la).

slack and happy day :D

2008-06-24T22:08:00.005+08:00

wat happened this few days:

watched incredible hulk. haha can u believe it, last time i really thought it was incredible HUNK.
comp died. i hate harvey norman/hp whichever is it im not sure, boycotting both
grumbled and complained and bad mood-ed on everyone coz singtel took away their hp offers just when i wanted to buy a phone
SPRAYED PESTKILLER ON COCKROACH (and on my sis's mouse and ipod charger in the meanwhile haha but still!)
watched xing guang da dao on tudou. huang jing lun still in! cheers :D
went ntu for medical checkup, kind of got lost and climbed DOZENS OF STAIRS(say probably 10 stories in total) -.- really tiring experience
bought clothes yay

feel like spending a lot of money... on myself

2008-06-17T11:06:00.002+08:00

random...

my mum is very nice to me. buys me food everyday and kept asking what i need to buy in hostel so that she can help me prepare. keeps her volume down in the morning so that she doesnt wake me. doesnt let me wash the dishes. plus she hops to use the laptop when she could use the more user-friendly desktop just coz im using it.

actually i really really like staying at home...
but i want to go out!

2008-06-08T21:58:00.004+08:00

went shopping today! but nothing much to buy actually :(
bought some flats, slippers, and a top. must go again soon!

dropped by raffles city and donut factory. wanted to buy 6, but they had an offer for 10 (10 for 11 bucks) and greedy pig was thinking

hmmmm if i buy then i can eat it for breakfast, tea, and supper for the next 2 days! YUMYUM

i love the double choc yum
plus it's only 12 donuts for $10.50. yum yum plus gd deal = bean who's pleased with herself

hahaha ok got to stop being spastic

i think 苏打绿's songs are ultra nice! though the band name is very...weird and the lead singer looks really gay but their songs are really gd!

2008-06-07T19:27:00.002+08:00

i was resting my legs on a chair and then PLOP! sounded like bird shit landed but it was A LIZARD! xia si wo lo! so i squealed, shook the lizard onto the chair and kicked the chair away. now it's like flattened and motionless on the chair.

update 5 min ltr:
omg i just turned my head and realised the lizard was gone. hahaha looks like they are getting smarter in acting dead

2008-06-07T00:07:00.003+08:00

last day at work on friday!

michael treated me to lunch and i dragged eunice in. hahaha evil. he is a very nice supervisor but too serious at times... honestly i cant really stand it when he gets serious hahaha it's like talking to an old uncle. (didnt dare to tell him though)

noor gave me a bag too! then siti gave me a keychain.

had a terrible time packing and throwing away stale biscuits. hahaa i had julie loveletters leftover in the drawer...and they were bought in january. can imagine how bad it is

i think Vital is the place which i grew very used to and felt really comfortable in for the first time in my life. haha in dhs and vj...i always feel like i didnt fit in, but i thought im less fake and more myself at work. everyday just go there and have a fun time sneaking downstairs and eating early lunchs and chit chatting about everything at our places.

after work siti yijuan eunice and i went to watch Kung Fu Panda. have always thought watching animations was a waste of money...and still think the same now. hahaha 10 bucks la hello. but it's quite nice and funny la, ok to watch 6 bucks at cathay on weekdays haha

they probably dunno it, but im going to miss them a lot a lot!

2008-06-05T21:46:00.002+08:00

i feel sick.
kept feeling giddy and it comes back every few minutes. so i went to work late hahaha

btw i am so angry. i was going home from parkway and i planned to take a taxi coz i was feeling quite awful. and then 36 came so i happily hopped on (Coz 36 is quite infrequent and it's rare to have it come so quickly)

so ok. i forgot to drop at the bus stop outside the airport as i was er-hem too comfortable on the bus and was too lazy to move. but the bus took SO LONG to get to terminal 3, to 1 and finally to 2! like it took abt 15 min from parkway to airport, and more than 15 min to loop. was so pissed on the bus and more pissed when i reached T2 coz there's no 53 bus there! assumed i missed it coz the 36 was SO FREAKING SLOW. so the loop from outside the airport to when i finally hopped onto a crowded 53 took more than half an hour. ridiculous!

even jade seah and zoe tay on channel 8 now is irritating me. jade seah with her awful chinese and zoe tay with her accent. and the script is so cliche and urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2008-06-01T22:21:00.002+08:00

and so i smsed michael at 8.30am on friday
"oh no! i just woke up! dont tink im coming"
he didnt reply. hahahah i think he must be so sick of my super irresponsible behaviour by now since i dont even bother making up reasons

must start to plan next week's lunch plans haha

2008-05-30T09:46:00.002+08:00

today i woke up with a jolt when i realised it's 7.30 already. took 2 seconds to consider and then went back to sleep hahaha

as pathetic as it sounds... i like working coz i really like talking to my friends (though only 2 of them) everyday!

2008-05-22T21:00:00.002+08:00

today Noor wasn't here in the morning, so i happily slacked it all off :D
really very happy when there's nothing to do and then u can just chit chat.

hmmm not counting in tmr, i only have one more week at Vital.
haha told yijuan i must plan out a lunch schedule, so that i make sure i eat yummy food for the whole next week. 5 months already, and i havent even tried half of Maxwell's food...

shall comment more after i actually leave the place hahaa

i think i need to exercise badly. my fats are too scary man hahaha

oh ya i bought The Pact! my favourite Jodi Picoult book.
hope there's something on after work tmr, dont feel like going home early on friday.

2008-05-15T00:43:00.003+08:00

the ants are too much! aiyoooo

i left my caramel corn titbit on my shelf, tied up properly and then they invaded my snack! im very sure it's quite air tight coz i ate one and it was fine (very :S, i know. i feel quite :S when i realise there are ants). dunno how they found it but anyway it's very irritating.

nowhere in my house is safe from ants~ they are really evolving to become quite strong. i have seen ants loitering around my sink and MICROWAVE OVEN. in the microwave oven i mean, not sure if they survived the microwave though hahaha

2008-05-11T15:38:00.002+08:00

went out to lunch at Bali Thai at TM.

service sucks big time. hahaha i half-thought there was a buffet going on when i first reached coz when i reached there were a lot of uncleared tables with nobody there.
plus our ice-water kept having some unknown stuff in it, tink there's something wrong with it.
plus they said there's an extra charge of 2 bucks to every dish coz it's Mother's Day, like hah!!!
hello mother's day isn't even a public holiday?

feeling tired. shall take an afternoon nap hahaa

2008-05-07T20:48:00.003+08:00

shall wear my going-to-die old slippers to work tmr and pray they dont die in the middle of the road. cannot take it la my poor toes...

had a rather happy day at work today. super slack these two days and it totally suits me hahaha

today:
reached work 8.50am

read newspapers, drink soyabean, went down to buy stuff

do some simple but ok work (pasting labels on files. i actually like doing that stuff. and copy some code numbers)

12.15pm went for lunch. yijuan and i went to eat some long queue fish soup downstairs.
maxwell's fish bee hoon is nicer in my opinion, and omg the food centre was so hot and stuffy i smelled like it after eating there.

went back to do some simple stuff and slack slack slack. ate my polar curry puff

3.30pm went out for a walk to ntuc. I actually didnt buy any food!

4.45pm found out my yoghurt in the fridge turned weird :(

rest of the time read articles on msn.com coz it was the only website i could visit. yeah i was that desperate. now i know myanmar has up to 22,000 pple deaths coz of the cyclone...and i even read all the fei articles (for example: my husband cheated when i was away at work) hahahaha

haha every time noor comes to my table she will go "WAI BIN!!!" and then complain that my table is very dirty and messy. today she saw my stack of mypapers (coz i always take them in the morning but am too lazy to dispose of them) and said

aiyo u want to sell them to the garang guni man is it!

it was very funny ahaha

2008-05-04T23:32:00.003+08:00

when i go google.com, it becomes baidu.
when i search stuff on msn.com, the results came up in baidu.

i suspect its a china virus!

oh btw i just remembered i cant even wear my slippers (yeah my daily attire is jeans and slippers hahaha super la1 ta1) to work tmr coz it died on friday. luckily siti lent me her slippers or else i cant even go home! so suay. it's not the first time my shoes gave way in the middle of nowhere hahaha can still fondly remember the last time...

which means i have to wear my other shoe which gives me bad blisters boohoo.
yijuan says she wants to quit coz they are changing her seat again, just when i told my pple im quitting at the end of may! sigh if she quits it will be so sian over there though siti is quite gd company actually. like on friday we just sat there and ate snacks and played sudoku and read magazines haha.

2008-05-04T11:55:00.003+08:00

went vj dance concert ytd. free!
hahaha cheap deals like this make me pleased.

anyway i thought it was so-so only... the breakdance (or watever u call that dance, im not sure) item was very nice though! wei an can do those stunts SO WELL u go wahhhhhh, but he has quite an irritating 嘴脸 whenever he's on stage... so u just got to ignore his face la haha

have been playing online bridge to a nearly 走火入魔 extent, all coz i dont have better things to do. okay okay felicia, will read city of ashes soon...

my home has been recently infested with those black fat ants which run super fast. usually i dont kill them but they kept running in front of me and attempted to get into my tea! so now is 见一只杀一只!

haha my post is so bo liao... trying to make it sound like theres something but actually theres nothing in my life...

2008-04-20T01:03:00.002+08:00

felt quite guilty the whole week coz i threw a tantrum at work but my supervisor is so understanding.

haha i realise im always saying the same old things about work, and oh well im still there.

went to visit my grandpa at the hospital this morning. im not close to him but it's still rather worrying to hear about his condition, lucky things are ok now. once again felt that life is very fragile...

and also looking at him and my grandma, i would want to have a partner whom i can grow old with hahaa (provided i dont die of obesity and digestion problems before that)

self-reminder: control my emotions...

2008-04-15T20:59:00.003+08:00

despite everything, sometimes i still feel no different from being all alone...

work today sucked to the core. i really ask myself if its worth it to do such shitty stuff (now without internet access what the hell) for a miserly $6.10/hr.

cannot justify...
as eunice said, what's 6.10... it cant even buy me a mac meal nowadays.

feeling so shitty and tired and lonely all the way from work (yijuan went on an errand and then could go home early) but now i feel worse. that part of me who feels insecure and uncertain came haunting again. ha.

2008-04-13T23:01:00.002+08:00

boring wkend i had.

friday: dinner-ed with yijuan (shocked! haha)
saturday: lazed and slept practically the whole day
sunday: went out to lunch and continued lazing at home

my life sounds damn lazy. hahaha

2008-04-10T00:20:00.002+08:00

i think i really cannot stop complaining. hahaha.

today at 1 something (lunch time) when i was feeling sleepy and about to go for lunch the temps were asked to leave. i was rather pissed, because hello if i knew it was a half day i wont bother coming. i only get 25 something if i were to work half day, after cpf is 20? plus i got to pay for my transport and my breakfast and wake up early and come to work. forget it man.

basically i gave michael this really irritated face. hahaa but i was seriously quite irritated though yea it's not his fault.

lucky eunice was free to meet us or u will hear no end to my complaining. so yijuan and i met her for singing session whee :)

i thought it was weird when we weren't disturbed though it was near to the end of our booked time when the karaoke system shut itself down at exactly 6pm. smart system they have haha.

aiyo the entry is so boring.
btw i have a very bad feeling i wont be able to wake up tmr coz i have been feeling really tired lately. haha if so then too bad la i guess. nitezz

2008-04-07T23:33:00.002+08:00

feeling as though someone took my brain out and messed it all up. today's work is as brainless as ever, but so tedious and arghhh. my eyes probably got worse by 100 degrees since i started work.

ate dinner at sushi tei. the special sushi rolls are yummy, but the rest are so-so only. (i think)
cost me 30 bucks. hahaha gosh.
dont feel like caring anyway...

2008-04-06T21:54:00.002+08:00

after nearly 2.5 years of using my hp (which is dying btw :( ) i realised that there seem to be a conference call function.

hahaha dots.

monday again tmr :(
boohoooo!

2008-04-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

working is getting sian.
but im getting along better with yijuan which is good :)
plus i get all her rochers and other food coz she cant eat them heh heh

i just played the logic puzzle game for nearly the whole morning today, and noor gave me some simple work to do. slacked, lunched. michael gave us some stupid urgent copy-and-paste-info-onto-excel-sheet work to do. think i showed him a pretty black face hahaha
i felt quite sick after that coz im trying to do it too fast i guess...

i think they are too nice to me already, until i 得寸进尺.

my worklife very boring hor.

2008-03-31T09:59:00.002+08:00

this morning i sent michael an sms:

hello sorry i am turning up in the afternoon... eyes really cannot open zzz...

really 太不上进了 haha

but i was really too sleepy la. went felicia's house to slack at night and i gobbled down 2 chicken wings and ice milk tea after my subway sandwich. hahaha super greedy i know.
then after that eunice and i shared taxi home coz it was around 12 already. but i couldnt sleep at all! think the tea was too strong or something.

wonder if michael will give me pay for the half day today? hahaha

2008-03-29T10:39:00.002+08:00

this month i only went to work for 15 days. (hmm actually come to think of it it's only 13.5 days but since michael is so nice... hahaha)

which means $52.30 * 15 * 0.8 = 627.6

but my expenses were 500 plus.
HOW TO QUIT LIKE THAT!!!

but my supervisors are ultra nice to me. michael and noor says if i really want to i can go work half an hour late...

i realise i have nothing much to talk about.

sigh...

2008-03-20T22:19:00.002+08:00

today was quite horrible coz yijuan didnt come. so lonely.

watching My Girl makes me cry. funnily enough, i didnt react much when i watched it the first time.

going hongkong on saturday BUT i havent packed a single thing AND i dont even know where we are going! like ha-ha. my mum is complaining the suitcases are not big enough (obviously, 2 small ones for 5 pple???) but nobody is doing anything. gosh haha.

2008-03-19T00:16:00.004+08:00

懒人做的懒事

haha already pasted on the fridge. taking leave tmr! but i havent told michael yet hahaa getting rather irresponsible.

meanwhile im going to laze on the sofa and watch My Girl. :)
lalala ~oh happy happy day~

2008-03-16T23:59:00.002+08:00

thanks :) emo days are temporarily away.

thursday went karaoke after work.
friday took half day and karaoke
sat stoned at home for half a day and stayover.
sun went nus open house, and went back to slack at felicia's house.

2 days karaoke totally killed my throat and i 破音 like most of the time. bad bad.

i dont think the open houses helped me :(

was just lazing on felicia's sofa and rewatching My Girl for the whole night just now. the show is super nice! didnt really want to stop watching but it was 11pm already so i happily took a taxi home.

heh shall take more taxis coz it's so so so shuang.

spending money like nobody's business. i dont even consider any budget, just spend when i want to. which, hmmm, is really nobody's business la haha

eunice is quitting soon, so i will be a little lonely at work... and then i will quit. hahaha

2008-03-11T20:45:00.002+08:00

feeling very lonely...
i think im a very lousy person; sometimes i really hate myself.

2008-03-06T10:55:00.002+08:00

im sick with a sore throat and a runny nose boohoooo.

trying to sneeze but cannot sneeze and having ur eyes tear constantly is pretty horrible.

feeling a little miserable and sleepy now and quite worried about tmr... actually im not that scared yet; think im just too laidback about everything. but i will just cry and run home if i get bad results, and remain hidden for the next week haha

2008-03-04T12:04:00.002+08:00

sigh im feeling very pathetic at the moment.
i shall be emo and stone the whole afternoon off.

2008-02-28T21:17:00.003+08:00

我好不容易 can go home earlier to play Sims but DAMN, comp broke down again for like the 15th time. i really dunno how many times must i call the repairman to come and take a look at the comp coz it seems to break down like EVERY MONTH!

gah im super angry!!! not to mention that their opening hours is the same as everyone's (weekdays, 9 - 5) , which is, for lack of a better word, so stupid. plus the serviceman takes forever to come, probably coz they are choked up with other customers who are also suay like me.

this is even more frustrating than work. and that's saying something. grrrrr.

2008-02-27T23:00:00.004+08:00

when u do the same things everyday, u cant really remember what u did on specific days coz the memories are all 模糊 in ur brain and mixed about until it's this big blur.

aiyo working totally destroyed my lousy ambition of becoming an office girl next time. i dunno how come pple can stand doing the same thing again and again every two weeks and knowing u will be repeating the same routine for years. it's so bleargh.

went to play chunying's ddr on monday. ok i suck at it but then again im pretty ok (in my opinion only haha) for a beginner. at least i finish the whole song...sometimes. hahah

let's see... tues watched L, which was quite interesting. and i dripped some nachos cheese on eunice's bag, oops.

then today we went to play arcade again. haha i still suck at ddr. and suck very badly at bball and very very very badly at house of the dead. im so lousy that hahaha it's funny. yijuan apparently finished the house game with 4 bucks with her partner. and erm i used 4 bucks within 3 mins.

it's so diu lian! i probably need more practice, yes yes. haha

tmr is thursday! and after thursday is friday! and after that it's the weekend!
i tell myself that everyday to make me feel better. feel like quitting

2008-02-21T20:32:00.003+08:00

i need to speak and type more English coz i have problems conversing in English. (not kidding)
i cant speak proper sentences!

i enjoyed myself ytd! thanks to the pple who met me for dinner and the presents and the smses and messages :)

bdays arent really a big deal in my family so they practically ignored me when i got home. but my parents gave me a hongbao today and my dad actually sent me a bday sms! (which consists of only 4 words and was 1 day late but still im surprised)

the channel8 fortune teller was spot-on when he says pple born in the year of the snake may have 肠胃problems. gah mine dont feel too good boohoo.

2008-02-18T20:17:00.002+08:00

oh i have nothing to do at the moment.

in fact i have done nothing during the weekend after finishing my book.

was telling my friends (2 friends, so there's plural) that i dislike the weekdays, and i dont like the weekends so i dunno what on earth am i doing with my life.
crap, wasting life again.
i sort of wish i could meet pple every other day after work. waibin feels lonely.

btw we are planning to go hk/macau in march. hmm. :S

GOSH IM SO UNENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW I CAN'T STAND MYSELF.

2008-02-16T12:35:00.003+08:00

was supposed to meet felicia at 11am. and erm i woke up at 11am.

i had a very happy day ytd coz eunice and i took half day to go out. was SUPER happy and shuang to go off at 2!

went to bugis and bought some cheap stuff. i tink i can be even more auntie than the aunties.

felicia joined us for dinner and she gave me a me-to-u friendship keychain! felt bad coz i didnt buy a single thing for friendship day; was too busy sulking. haha but anyway it means quite a lot to me, so thanks!

friends nan2 mian3 will drift away, but what matters is we still close the distance!

some very dumb thing happened during dinner, Felicia was telling me about a book abt a Cat Burglar she read ytd.

Felicia: oh u want to see the book? it's called Billionaires Prefer Blondes.
Waibin: (a bit puzzled already.) huh. oh ok.
*shows me a green book with a man and a woman on it*
Waibin: eh where's the cat?
Felicia: (laughing) huh! did u think a Cat Burglar was a burglar who steals cats?
Waibin: no! hahahaha worse, i thought it was a cat!!!

hahaha i dunno if it sounds funny here but anyway to us it was very funny.

nothing much happened at work except we got found out youtube-ing at around 2pm (was watching ehb haha) and so now during lunch times we sometimes go to play jurassic park at the games room (that quite old arcade machines game). oh well i use twice as many coins as eunice AND she was holding a faulty gun. hahaha

2008-02-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

im feeling so irritated about everything. from having no friends to meet on vday to having to work tmr to finding bald spots on my head.

crap... ok i admit im feeling damn pathetic about having nobody to meet tmr.

i really wish i have company on friendship day.

2008-02-08T22:10:00.000+08:00

today is boliao day 2.

went to my grandma's house and yi po's house.

had a really bad day. my shoes cut into the back of my ankles and made them tuo1 pi2 within minutes of wearing them. hurts so bad. thank gdness 7-eleven was open so i could buy plasters. on top of that i had stomach cramps and my mum KEPT nagging abt the pimples on my back and the taiwan muah chee i bought at chinatown (which we sneaked out during work to buy heh).

and then got to rush home...my dad's relatives visited my house which made us erm rather unhappy, and just when i thought i could slack after they are gone they suggested going all the way to tiong bahru to eat dinner -.-

but anyway it was super funny, coz the moment they said to go have dinner, my bro sis and mum went upstairs to "change" but it turned into a major complaining session there.

anyway dinner was so awkward coz they made all the "kids" sit together and then we were stuck in a table with my cousins and some auntie and didnt talk. my mum was stuck in the adults table. some aunt was making another kid remember all our names. actually he knew all the cousins' names except for mine and my siblings (which means 3 names) coz oh well we dont really mix with them apart from new year. after 1 hour he couldnt remember our names, and it was getting rather irritating. hello, how difficult is 3 names, of which two had one same word???
after 2 hours he could remember my sis and my bro's names but got mine wrong (called me huiping, which is 0.0).

i offered to pour some chrysanthemum for my younger cousin beside me. she didnt even look at me and shook her head. i cant even describe how put off i am and after that i tink my face was quite black.

as u can tell i wasnt very pleased at the dinner. in my opinion it's quite sucky coz i dont like them.

anyway after the dinner my sis was so pissed at my dad coz he insisted on treating and made us poorer by A LOT A LOT OF MONEY. i wasnt pissed, i was just wu2 nai4 coz i knew he would treat anyway. but i really agree with what she said, why bother to put in so much money into a superficial family dinner and then thrive like mad on other days?

i just really dislike having connections with my dad's side coz in my opinion they arent really sincere in knowing my family and my dad (complicated story behind). but anyway i just dislike them. and also it's so not worth it to spend so much money on "building family ties" when in the end we may not even recognise each other if we see them on the streets (like how i cannot recognise one of my older cousins)

oh yes one more thing; the food isnt nice.

hongbao money from those 3 families: 4+4+ TWO.
it's not really abt giving out little money, it's abt being giam. we all know they arent that poor -.-

aiya it's just so stupid.
now i gotta wash my hair again coz the place a lot of you2 yan1. so bye.

2008-02-07T18:44:00.000+08:00

happy CNY!

received 2 hongbaos today, coz my parents gave me two.
meaning our entire day was spent on home, which is fine, except that im being irritated by... ok nvm.

dunno what i ~~am going to~~ can wear tmr but great, some relatives decide to come to my dirty house last-minute.

haha im supposed to sound happier about visitors i suppose.
hurray! more hongbaos!

-.-
im totally not in the cny mood. i kind of wish i could be in it actually.

2008-02-01T10:28:00.000+08:00

i dont really feel like myself nowadays.

haha acting retarded, doing mundane jobs; it makes u numb (and dumb) after a while because there is no need to think. in a way it is good, coz i dont think abt sad things (eh but not a lot of sad things to tink abt since working is SO BORING), i dont emo, and basically am in quite good moods.

but working makes me feel so far away from my friends. i dunno wat they are doing everyday, or where are they going after work or just how they are living right now. it feels so distant... and makes me doubly lonely everyday after i get home...sigh

i guess i would find something to complain abt either way haha.

new year... oh no lots of pretence and keeping quiet plus 24 hours facing my sis.
and i havent bought anything to wear.

gd thing is we will go feasting, then i can just eat and ignore everyone else. ha great.

2008-01-30T12:37:00.000+08:00

life feels quite miserable

when ur partner (cum complain-mate cum talk-crap-mate) next to u is absent
when ur next friend is a few tables away
when ur feet has blisters due to stupid heels
when u eat a lonely lunch in front of ur company computer
when u have nothing to surf at the computer
when ur friends are too busy to msn u
when u must act hardworking coz some arabian visitors are visiting soon
when u have seemingly endless data to check
when u cant sleep even if u are horribly sleepy
when u are acutely aware of ur colleagues' occasional peep at ur computer when they walk past

very miserable indeed.
cant wait to go home!

2008-01-25T21:28:00.000+08:00

i feel that im overworked. 6.10 per hour is so little!

eunice and i walked around in chinatown and went back to the office with a bing tang hu lu. just bought it to try. greedy me popped one into my mouth and there are seeds inside! so horrible. tasted like ultra sweet shan zha.

after that i just slept at my seat for 45min. haha cannot take it, too tired after lunch! my department head came to tell me not to be so obvious or else pple might be complaining abt me. being so timid i was quite worried abt that so i woke up.

eunice and i were so busy for the afternoon we had no time to talk?!!!!!! and i didnt eat snacks too.

now u know how busy i was. hahaha

i was frantically tallying numbers on the excel sheet and webpage. i basically stayed in the same position for abt 2 hours coz i was too busy copying and pasting numbers and checking to move much. it's like i had one hand pressing ctrl+c and ctrl+v, then the other hand was controlling the mouse and switching between 2 windows. gdness, i didnt even move my head and neck much! (very horrible feeling when everything stiffens up)

at the end of chionging near to 600 entries in around 2 hours (wow i think my speed is pretty amazing) i didnt find a single mistake -.-

feel so worn out and fed-up, (with a stiff neck somemore), i start thinking if it's all worth it for $6.10 per hour.

it's not. >:(

and stupid karaoke room. apparently my company isnt under MND and so actually we cant use the karaoke room, so i guess today would be the last singing session in the office building.

2008-01-15T08:43:00.000+08:00

ytd i asked my bro to do a virus scan for me. guess how many viruses it detected?

FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE.

like, whoa.

2008-01-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

the past 3 days have been quite enjoyable until now. have to help my dad print stuff but my computer is giving me problems again. program doesnt open, and start menu goes stuck, and if that isnt bad enough my internet suddenly loses signal. used the online scanner and got 57 infected files within the first 5 % but cannot remove since cant connect to the net.

haha simply great man!

friday: haha checked out the karaoke room in MND (yea they had a very nice big room with wireless mike woo!) and had a lovely, not to mention long, lunchbreak. dinner with felicia and eunice and stayed over coz i was too lazy to go home ho.

saturday: went home to bathe and then met felicia at Central to shop! bought quite little stuff as things are either too big (tops) or too small (skirts :( )
dinner queue was super long, but waraku pasta was yummy. dessert was nice too, but some okomi cheese thing isnt. we took a photo of the ice cream we ate :D love feasting!

sunday: very nice afternoon just slacking and reading books till the stupid comp is showing signs of dying. gah.

monday blues. i really hate washing my hair in the morning. it's freezing cold.

spent a bomb on mrt and bus fares. abt 30 bucks since i started work? it's mad.

2008-01-08T21:34:00.000+08:00

updates (with some stuff repeated) abt working. boring stuff, boring post.

since pple have been telling me im very thin now, (hahahaha gasp in disbelief) im now under the illusion that im very thin too. hence eating a lot more to make up for the 3 days which i was sick.

hahaa actually it's coz pple notice that my waist is relatively small, but they dont notice my du4 nan2 which is growing at an alarming rate.

world is so small. saw pris during lunch and in the lift after work today. plus i found out that the new temp in my department was from loyang too! i must have looked as nerdy as last time coz she recognises me but i dont remember her at all.

work has been less tiring but still tired coz of the simple fact that everything is tiring for me ahaa. have been taking tons of self-initiated breaks! and i msn during work now. hahaha

i need more clothes la. clothes which are cheap i mean, coz i have no money. boohoo.

2008-01-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

work is so tiring i just feel like plopping down on the bed right after work each day. gosh. mrt rides after work are bad, eunice and i just keep waiting for a less crowded train so that we dont get squashed like sardines.

my card value went down from 23 something on 2jan morning to 13 something just now. 10 bucks! in 3 days! it's mad.

tink expenses go up to 10 bucks per day coz im greedy and buy too much breakfast everyday. so just keep eating from morning to lunch.
lunch hasnt been gd coz im always too lazy to queue up and hence i always end up buying some un-nice food.

dislike my place coz everyone who walks past can see wat im doing and then if i go to my hotmail to email pple (which now i couldnt coz hotmail is mysteriously down for the past 2 days!!!) everyone can see. so i have been using the company's email to mail pple under the gov sector (haha like siying and chunying, and chunying's emails are so duper amusing btw) and also eunice when we are acting busy hahaha.

the staff here are nice. didnt talk to a lot of pple but those that i did were kind. like our supervisor now who told us "dont overwork yourself! must act busy!" today.

haha then there was some lady who was going home today and saw us sitting there so she's like whispering and signalling to us
"go home go home now!"

so i replied her
"we finished packing already! waiting for friend to go!"

actually we have been slacking since 4.30 "doing work", but we really deserve to. worked so hard these 2 days! eunice's acting-busy tip: in the middle of emailing, one shld refer to and flip some paper so that it looks like u are occupied. hahaa quite dots.

chunying's even better. she mailed me at 5.10 to tell me shes not checking mail already coz she gotta pack her laptop and prepare to go by 5.20pm. hahahha
what i cant understand is why we have to be so gui3 sui4 in going home. i mean, it's our right to go off at the exact time right, it's not like they are paying us for overtime.

2008-01-03T13:16:00.001+08:00

at work now. omg im so kun i feel like nodding off any minute. sleepy sleepy.

2007-12-30T13:13:00.000+08:00

i was reading my old archives. and i suspect i really had depression from jan to june. haha. gosh i sounded so sad.

2007-12-30T12:28:00.000+08:00

new year resolutions!

haha it's so exciting to think of new year resolutions and also reflect back upon the year. ok i admit, i get excited over the weirdest things hahaha.

this is my last year's new year eve post:
http://beanie-gal.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_archive.html#

and hoho my old blog is temporarily open for reading! haha as if anyone's interested.

this year has been a really... bad year i guess. didnt know i could cry so much over anything at all but apparently im really that emotional. allowed myself to sink so badly into depression that i actually skipped meals (like wow man. hahaha that idea is so laughable now. gosh!). but anyway having gone past these emo stuff made me realise that we are in charge of our own happiness. i dunno why, last time i thought it was my friends who are responsible in comforting me and making me happy. haha pretty stupid, i know.

anyway i understand more about myself this year. yes yes bean is now wiser (ahaha) and less stupid now. hurray!
last year's resolutions checklist:

1. im going to work harder for my own self and to save myself from being so duo4 luo4. if im not going to change my attitude im just going to die a horrible death for A levels and then feel stupid all over again.

comment: didnt do. still as duo4 luo4 for results. ahahah

2. i think i should really reflect upon my ways and how i treat others too.

comment: i did. treat pple with more sincerity now (i think?)

3. i should just stop being so indecisive
comment: im still very indecisive. but i did decide firmly on some stuff. so semi-did it.

wah not bad, i fulfilled half of my 2007 new year resolutions! hahaa

new year resolutions for 2008:

1) LIVE FOR MYSELF AND BE HAPPY
2) lose some weight
3) save more money (this year's savings is zero, or probably negative)
4) make it a point to meet up with friends more
5) spend more time with parents
6) be less anti-social
7) put in more effort to make my hair less bushy haha
8) BE HAPPY

wow that suddenly look like a lot.
i so wanna play sparklers tmr! but i dunno if i have money to buy some to play.

2007-12-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

die-hard hana yori dango fan says:
ahhh i love liuxinghuayuan!

2007-12-27T17:21:00.000+08:00

today i wore shoes that were slightly higher than my usual flats. stupid shoes hurt my feet so much i think im not made out for heels.

haha so pathetic for a girl.
aiya but i really wanna wear heels! coz im so short. booohoooo

spent a waibin-day with qianwei and qien. meaning just eat and slack about haha.

2007-12-25T11:09:00.000+08:00

on a lovely christmas morning (and probably afternoon) im at home! gosh i actually miss my home coz i havent been spending a single afternoon in the past... 7 days i think. (wow! im shocked myself ahaha)

i want to go cycling and play badminton ltr! but it looks like it's going to rain. sigh sigh.

apparently i gained 2kg after the major slacking-and-pigging-out-session at felicia's house with friends (eunice, liwei, trina, junying), so no more 44kg boohooooooo
my previous famine camp efforts gone down the drain. double boohoos.

we watched Troy (hahah i really havent watched it before) which wasn't very enjoyable coz i really dont like the fighting and killing stuff.

and then we tried making chocolate+cornflakes, which was just a hilarious exp. ha ha.

the next day chunying came over and we watched High School Musical 2! but i like the first one tons better. cant stand Vanessa Hudgens' hair this time. and Zac Efron and Vanessa just KEPT holding each other's hands and looking into each other's eyes, seperate for a while, then come together again to hold each other's hands and look into each other's eyes. haha too much of it makes me so irritated!

then chunying let me play her psp for a while. it was a shooting game where u have to aim for the person and press shoot. it was quite fun (oops violent tendencies in me) hahah just that i took like 30 seconds to adjust the gun before i could aim properly at the person, and got shot probably a zillion times in the meantime.

oh ya sian the person told me i got to go to the buona vista branch in Jan. was kind of happy coz it means i can meet up with siying and chunying, but then i totally forgot to consider the costs of mrt rides. so little money left after minusing off CPF, food, and travelling costs. ahhhhhh.

2007-12-24T10:01:00.000+08:00

MERRY
CHRISTMAS!

lalala (imagine me singing)
i wish u a merry christmas (X3)
and a happy new year!

:D :D :D

2007-12-21T11:53:00.000+08:00

i think i like talking to myself after all. hahaha keep coming here to type some nonsense.

random thoughts today when i woke up:
I WANT TO GO SHOPPING.
i congratulate myself for growing out of my depression. i think this time im really over that matter. YES! :D
i really want to do some countdown thingy with my friends this year. dont want to be stuck at home during the last day of this year.
i want to retain the good parts of myself (lame, kind, lovely, thoughtful, patient, cute hahahaa ok maybe some of those dont belong there) and eliminate the negative sides (shoo bad moods and tempers!)

not too late to start now i hope.

2007-12-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

very thought-ful now

hahaha im listening to the theme song of 双天至尊。actually that show is quite exciting, i watch it every weekend.
and... i enjoy watching it haha

tmr going tm AGAIN.
haha diao. im getting really sick of that place.

wanted to buy something today, and then i was abt to pay at the counter when the salesperson told me "miss can u join the queue at the back" the queue was so long it reached the escalator???? there were at least 10 pple there, so... haha forget it.

im not a very christmasy person, but i really like getting cards in the mail. this year didnt receive any yet boohoo.

just now i happened to log into my old blogger account to reread my last year's new year's resolutions... haha felt very nostalgic. for one min (one min only la haha) i really felt as though i would do ANYTHING to go back 2 years, to go through J1 again. not because i loved vj life, but i think i was much happier in 2006 than 2007. everyday just go school, slack around, after school go home and slack some more, msn the whole night, tv, sleep.

think 2007 is going to be recorded as my shittiest year ever (sidetrack: oh apparently shittiest is a vulgar slang word in the dictionary hahah). emo-ed so much, cried so much, felt lonely so often, wanted to stop living so badly (not suicide. just disappear and stop living), im so glad to see it end. but... theres just some 莫名其妙的舍不得.

weird feeling. hahaa

2007-12-20T12:15:00.001+08:00

haha feeling alright now. my awful-and-i-want-to-die mood comes back say, every 3 hours or so.
hurray man i need to control my emotions.

anyway so while it's gone i need to do some normal stuff.

anyway ytd went out shopping with felicia. since im most probably going to work on 2jan i need more clothes. chunying told me the dress code is casual...but i cant imagine going in there with my kiddy clothes haha!

tink bugis is quite horrible to be at. pple pple and more pple everywhere, it seriously gets very tiring trying to walk through crowded places. in the end i bought a cardigan (which i tink can be used conveniently to hide whatever im wearing inside at work. yes its such a smart plan! hahaha) which felicia claims makes me look thin (plus point :D), shoes, and a top to wear on the first day.

i want to go buy some more, but shopping is so tiring it kills my back and feet. i ~~need~~ want a totally new wardrobe!

sian ltr still got to go meet tran's junior to pass her tran's sim card. and then i got to go buy christmas cards and presents at tampines alone (been there a zillion times this month) boohoo

happier stuff: weight keeps going down, though with no significant change in the amount of fats on me. hahaa but 44kg sounds pretty good to me hoho

really like watching this video. will rewatch it like once every day haha
it's just lin you jia singing 哭了 and K 歌之王

2007-12-19T23:43:00.000+08:00

u know sometimes it's so easy to pretend that everything is fine...but when reality strikes u again things just feels ten times worse.

im feeling so pathetic...
everything is not fine... help i desperately need some counseling.

2007-12-18T22:23:00.000+08:00

im crying for my brother... though he says he's feeling fine with his results and i shldnt be feeling sorry for him (since he's okay with it) but i still feel sad for him... i dunno... some pple just arent as smart as others academically...but it's just so cruel that almost everything in life is based on exam results.

2007-12-13T18:46:00.001+08:00

i just finished reading Nineteen Minutes.

i dunno what to say about it... like now i still feel a little stunned by the whole story. the book really leaves u thinking hours after u finish it... i can't even explain how good it is, coz it wouldnt do it justice.

to me it's a really really really great book, should read it if u have the chance. can borrow from me. i wont be re-reading it for a long long time coz it's too... _____ (i seriously cant think of a suitable word here. heart-wrenching?) to experience one more time.

ok just realise what i said are fei hua. hahaha but im serious, it's such a good book!!

my favourite book from Jodi Picoult is still The Pact.
coz i really love that story, right till the very last twist at the back.

i want to read more good books! but i always end up borrowing the crappy ones.
haha ok off to do some other stuff.

2007-12-12T11:25:00.000+08:00

went for my first ever facial ytd.
HURTS LIKE HELL.

hahaha there was some time when i was crying coz it hurts so much. at first it was just tearing then after that i was just crying there haha which was so dumb.

shall go again, if i can afford it.
ok that just means im not going to go again in the short term.

been spending a lot these days and paid a lot by nets. i dont even dare to check how much there's left in my acc. luckily my bank book is all filled and i was too lazy to go to the bank to change it, so my mum can't check up on me haha

so broke and i havent even gone for my shopping or buffets! (or jogging. hahaha)